


The fight

by pckdrg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 09:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19903285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pckdrg/pseuds/pckdrg
Summary: Sirius and Remus are fighting again, and James makes them sit down and see some sense.





	The fight

Lily and James were sitting downstairs, James sprawled out on the couch with a Snitch zooming above him, Lily knitting socks for Harry at the kitchen table. They were both pretending to not hear the shouting match in the bedroom upstairs. They had gotten upset the first time they had witnessed it, but now it was such a recurrent event that they did not even look up anymore.

Sirius was doing most of the screaming, throwing out every thought that came to mind about the whole ordeal, as if he was willing to open his chest and let his heart explain how he felt - because no matter how hard he screamed, the words wouldn’t get to Remus. Remus, on the other hand, was silent most of the time, thought thoroughly about everything he would like to say and out of his mouth came clearly measured one-liners that were just as forceful as Sirius’ screaming. The fact that Remus was able to stay calm made Sirius scream even more.

This part of their relationship had always been the big obstacle. Their friends declared them mad for fighting about such a petty thing (Isn’t this just the “I love you more - No I love you more!” argument?). But to them it was the most important part of their relationship and every miscommunication had its roots in it.

‘God, Remus, I cannot believe you bring this up again!’ Sirius was standing before Remus, both his hands on his hips. His eyes were afire and he bit his lip hard to prevent himself from crying.

‘It’s just.. I can’t help it Sirius! I’m sorry I’m feeling this way, and I’m sorry I’m the more sensible one of us two!’ Remus spat at him.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, because Remus told Sirius he was insensible at least twice a week, but this time it had a different tone. Also, Remus had finally lashed out and had stated his feelings instead of the robot-voice he normally used when they were fighting.

‘I just think of the future, because I like to plan ahead and you know - think things through. You wouldn’t understand, because you often don’t even know what day of the week it is’, Remus said, suddenly seeming very tired and five years older. ‘There just isn’t a world in the future where we can be together, Pads.’

‘You have told me this a thousand times, Remus, and I have told you a thousand times that I am willing to fight for it’, Sirius replied, exhaling deeply, but not in an exasperated way.

‘That is not yours to decide.’

‘For such a sensible person you can be pretty thick sometimes, Moony!’ Sirius shouted suddenly, anger bubbling up inside of him. Don’t start crying, don’t start crying, he thought desperately, because that is what always ends the fight, but never resolves it. ‘HOW MANY TIMES? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU-‘

‘ALLRIGHT BOTH OF YOU COME DOWN RIGHT NOW!’ They heard from downstairs. It was James. Both fell silent instantly, because James never screamed. The only time in eight years they had seen him scream was at Sirius after he had told Snape how to get to the Whomping Willow. Remus saw a flash of recognition in Sirius’ eyes and they were both thinking the same thing: if James was screaming right now, he was as equally angry as then.

Sirius turned and walked out of the door without saying a word to Remus. Remus followed, slowly, dreading every step because with Sirius, conversations were never really serious (they could be, but Sirius kept his emotions and vulnerability tucked away inside him, just like Remus, so fights between them were always pretty immature - children argued the same way). Now James was involved, so Remus swallowed because he knew they were going to have an actual conversation about it.

James was still lying on the couch, but he had taken the Snitch when it had tried to fly away. Sirius and Remus were standing next to each other in the doorway, both still silent.

James sat up, his hair sprawled in every way and if it wasn’t such a grave atmosphere they would have laughed, would have joked about it.

‘Sit down at the table’, he said.

Lily busied herself in the kitchen, washing plates and pans. James could handle this on his own, and she would rather not be a part of it.

Sirius, still looking dumbstruck, sat down quickly. Remus contemplated whether to sit next to him or opposite of him, but James sat down directly facing Sirius so he figured Sirius needed backup. Remus himself needed backup as well. He sank down in the chair next to him, hands on his knees to keep them from fumbling at his blouse.

‘I am sick of hearing you two fight’, James started. His voice was slightly casual, but their was a deep undertone to it that they couldn’t miss.

‘Believe me, so am I’, Sirius replied quickly, holding up his hands. ‘But Remus-‘

‘NO. No pointing or blaming, that’s all you two do’, James broke him off. ‘For some time I thought you just liked getting the rise out of each other, like you used to banter in school, but this is getting ridiculous.’

He leaned backwards in his chair and put his hands on the table. ‘Do you even know what the argument is about anymore?’

‘Remus just gets into his self-pity mood a lot.’

‘Sirius is incapable of being emphatic and just sees everything from his perspective.’

James shut his eyes in annoyance, holding his hands up to shut them both up.

‘You are fighting because you both do not think you deserve the other’, he said slowly, as if explaining something to five-year-olds. He saw Remus looking at his knees and Sirius was biting his lip, looking at something behind James, but probably not really looking at all.

‘You both never really talk about your feelings, both never really open up. If you did, this argument would never happen’, James continued sternly, eyeing them down.

‘I’m telling you right now that it is not a situation of deserving one another, but rather choosing to live with the other person because you love them. It doesn’t matter if you have done certain things that makes you unworthy - in your own eyes - of the other. The other person loves you in spite of those things. It’s far easier to blame yourself and shout things about being not good enough, but that is not even in the question and definitely not yours to decide.’ James crossed his arms and waited.

Both Sirius and Remus were speechless, and it didn’t seem they were going to speak any time soon. Both were just staring straight ahead with wide eyes, averting James’ gaze.

James sighed. ‘It’s not important who deserves better, the important thing is that you want the best for the other because you love them, and you’re both so insecure about yourself that you think the other deserves better. So, you’d rather end the relationship and deprive the other of the thing he wants - you - than face that you’re uncertain about yourself.’

Sirius had tears in his eyes. He has bit his lip for far too long - it must be nearly bleeding by now - but it was in vain, the tears were rolling down his cheeks.

Remus turned around and gently wiped them away with his thumb. His hand stayed on Sirius’ face, and he was looking at Sirius intently, who was staring back with a sad frown on his face.

‘You guys also do not know how to initiate hugs, so I’m just going to tell you to hug right now’, James said, rolling his eyes but they both saw he was trying to hide a smile.

Sirius flung himself at Remus and ended up on his lap, pulling Remus to him and almost crushing him in a hug.

‘Can’t breathe - Pads - can you loosen your arms a bit-‘ Remus breathed out.

Sirius relaxed his arms a little and bent his head so Remus could put his in Sirius’ neck. Remus closed his eyes. ‘I’m sorry’, he said quietly.

‘I’m sorry too, Moony’, Sirius said, his voice a little higher than usual.  
  
Remus opened his eyes and looked at James. ’Thank y-‘

James held up his hand again and shook his head. ‘Thank me when you’ve stopped fighting about this.’

Remus knew James was no longer angry with them, but he knew that what James actually meant was: if I catch you fighting about this one more time I’ll be far more angrier than I was right now. So Remus nodded.

Lily walked back to the table, figuring it was safe to come back now. ‘Did the children listen?’

‘Children?! Moony! Do you hear what they’re calling us?’ Sirius exclaimed rather dramatically, but Remus knew that he was inwardly bursting with happiness.

‘Well, sometimes you still are a child, love’, Remus replied slyly.

‘And insensitive. And impulsive. And an idiot’, Sirius said while pressing kisses on Remus’ forehead.

‘But you’re my idiot, you know that’, Remus said, smiling while he kissed Sirius’ chin.

‘God, I’m melting away here’, Lily said and walked over to James to give him a small kiss. ‘How come they are screaming at each other when they apparently also can be like this?’

‘No idea’, James said, while stretching his arms and putting one around Lily’s waist.

‘Because we’re both idiots’, Sirius replied, almost in an singing voice. ‘Let’s go upstairs, Moons’, he whispered quietly, but loud enough for James and Lily to hear.

‘Oh God’, James said. ‘Could you be any less subtle, Pads?’

‘Honestly, I prefer that over the shouting match’, Lily said, looking out of the window.

Sirius nodded. ‘Listen to your woman. It’s just a different sort of shouting match, James’, he said while lifting his eyebrows. Remus turned scarlet red.

‘Even after all those years, Moony, and you still get flustered by his filthy mouth?’ James laughed, while leaning back in his chair and lifting it to two feet only.

‘That’s when you know you got yourself a good one, James’, Sirius said while saluting him, and took Remus’ hand and dragged him upstairs.


End file.
